100 Whatsapp Status

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Best Ever Whatsapp Status :

1. I'm not SHORT, I am just concentrated AWESOME !
2. I smile ...Because I don't know WHAT THE HELL is going on.
3. My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.
4. I am who I am, Your approval is not needed.
5. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, If you can't laugh at yourself, CALL ME...I'LL LAUGH AT YOU.
6. "370HSSV0773H" Read it upside down.
7. How other see you, is not important...How you see yourself means everything.
8. Every mother on earth gave birth to child except my mother, She gave birth to Legend !
9. OF COURSE ! Talk to myself, sometime i need expert advice.
10. When people talk behind my back Remember it is a best position to kiss my a**.
11. An apple in a day keeps anyone away, If you through it hard.
12. I'll hit you so hard even GOOGLE wan't able to find you.
13. I tried to be normal. Worst two minutes of my life.
14. After Monday and Tuesday, even calendar says W T F...
15. Life was much easier when APPLE and BLACKBERRY were just fruits.
16. Sitting in class wondering how the hell the teacher
got the job.
17. Stay strong, make them wonder how you're still
smiling.
18. Come in my Heart and pay no rent.
19. If you don't care, stop talking about it.
20. I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shits.
21. Attitude is like underwear Don’t show it just wore it !
22. My heart is stolen…can I check your bra?
23. Beautiful face, Beautiful body, Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys.
24. I don't insult people, I just describe them.
25. I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
26. No matter how much i try to forget you, you'll always be a part of me.
27. God is really creative, I mean ...just look at me !
28. I hate when people look at my phone while I'm typing. It's not that I have something to hide... It's just none of their damn business :/
29. You will find a girl prettier than me, smarter than me, and funnier than me, but you will never find a girl just like me.
30. Sometimes i feel like giving up, then i remember i ve lot of motherf**kers to prove wrong. ��
31. If you love me raise your hand & you don't then raise your standard.
32. I am Neither Batman Nor Superman However i am superhero for my women..!
33. Beauty Fades After Time, But Personality Is Forever!
34. I'm Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
35. Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life :P
36. I don’t have time to hate people,who hate me.because, I'm too busy in loving people who love me.
37. I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
38. Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror :P
39. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
40. No matter how “busy” a person is, if they really care, they will always find the time for you.
41. Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it last.
42. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status.
43. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
44. I don’t have a dirty mind, i have a sexy imaginations.
45. My favourite kind of people are the relatives who give money when they leave. :D
46. Be a good person in life, but be bad on the bed. ;)
47. Food, Water, Sleep, Love, Whatsapp, Repeat it.
48. If a man whistles at you, don't turn around. You are a lady not a dog.
49. Don’t play stupid with me, I am better at it..
50. I need a Google in my mind :) and an Anti-virus in my heart..
51. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
52. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
53. Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
54. Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
55. My silence doesn't mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!!!
56. I Don't Care About Popularity. I Live In Reality. Based On Originality. Forget Looks. I Respect Personality.
57. There is no market for YOUR EMOTIONS, so never advertise your FEELINGS just display YOUR ATTITUDE !
58. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. If you were stupid enough to walk away, I'll be smart enough to let you go.
59. Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago.
60. Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
61. You are the first person who has been able to make my heart beat slower and faster at the same time.
62. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
63. I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.
64. God was showing off when He created you.
65. The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.
66. Don’t waste your time with explanations, people only hear what they want to hear.
67. Life is so much better when you stop caring about what everyone thinks, and start to actually live for yourself.
68. Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number :D
69. Don't TRUST too much , don't LOVE too much , don't CARE too much because that ' TOO MUCH ' will HURT you so much !
70. Don’t cheat. If you’re not happy just leave.
71. Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist :P
72. Girl’s eyes are faster than GOOGLE in searching handsome guy but girl’s heart is slower than a turtle in forgetting a boy that she loved.
73. Never apologize for being you.
74. You don’t need to like me I’m not Facebook..
75. I'm crazy but original you try to be me and you fail..
76. I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.
77. I have a bad habit of reading a text and forgetting to reply.
78. Totally available!! Please disturb me!!
79. My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day
80. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode..
81. YOUR dream is to have an iphone 5 but poor peoples there dreams are to go to school...
82. Music is my escape from the bullshit in life..
83. Be yourself! You’re not born to impress any one..
84. It’s better living in the zoo than living with you..
85. When words fail, tears speak..
86. No matter if my name is not big, but I have done big works.
87. Don't do homework save paper! :P
88. I’m a good boy with bad habits :P
89. Respecting a women is the best way to tell her how beautiful she is…
90. flip the coin.. head i am yours, tail you are mine. :)
91. Mans are many but money is money :D
92. She takes your hand, I die a little… :(
93. I can drive you crazy without a drivers license.
94. If being hot is a crime …………….. ARREST ME.
95. I don’t hate schooI. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
96. Treat me like a queen and i’ll treat you like a king. But If you treat me like a game, i’ll show you how its played.
97. When I ask you to listen a song, it’s because the lyrics mean everything i’m trying to say to you…
98. Never be fooled by what you see on the outside, b’coz on the inside it’s often a different story.
99. I need a lifetime lover, not a night time lover.
100. Some people are perfect in being *FAKE* then being *REAL*.

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status for whatsapp

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whatsapp-status-love-sad-funny

short status for whatsapp

This is a compilation of best Short status for whatsapp usage.Pick a status and show your friends that you are Status-Master.
  • Some people just need a High-Five, on the face.
  •  Never on schedule.But always on time. ………
  •  I’m a good boy/girl with bad habits :P
  •  An apple in a day keeps anyone away…. If you throw it hard.
  •  At least mosquitoes are attracted to me. ……
  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
  •  We are WTF generation – WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook.
  • Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
  •  Some people are alive only, Because it’s illegal to kill them.
  •  Look at your left-——> I said left idiot!
  •  Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years. …….
  •  I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.
  •  I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
  •  Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.
  •  Love is DOCOMO, do the new.Marriage is IDEA, can change ur life.Wife is HUTCH, where ever you go she follows.But Friendship is AIRTEL, ek atut bandhan……!
  •  “Success” all depends on the second letter. 
  •  If I write something smart, you are probably going to copy it!
  •  You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
  •  Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork. ……..
  • Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt by someone you trust.
  • "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
  • Falling in love is only half of what I want. Staying in love with you till forever is the other.
  • “And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.”
  • As long as i wake up in the morning and she is next to me, that's all that matters.
  • Every moment i spent with you is like a dream come true
  • Every LOVE story is beautiful, but ours if my Favorite.
  • If a hug tell how much i love you, i would hold you in my arms forever



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Santa Banta SMS

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BEST SANTA BANTA SMS



Here we have compiled a collection of "New Santa banta sms"  that includes Santa banta Sms  ideas, Santa banta  Sms update, Santa banta  Sms for viber , Santa banta  Sms  for facebook, Santa banta  Sms  in hindi, Santa banta  Sms  for wechat,latest Santa banta Sms , 100 best Santa banta  sms , funny santa banta sms and much more..                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    



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Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?


********************* 


Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!


********************* 


Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.


********************* 


Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat


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Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.


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Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.


********************* 


Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?


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Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.


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Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more


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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.


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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesnt turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out


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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.


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Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.


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Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!


********************* 


Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!


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Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.


********************* 


Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.


********************* 


Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz havent u heard train is coming on platform?


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Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.


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Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.


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Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! Thats terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."


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Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.


********************* 


What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi


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Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!

Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?

Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!


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Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*


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Santa court mein judge se:
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!

Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?


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Santa: CHADDI lelo CHADDI..
Girl: Tumhe sharm nhi aati, kya gande shabd bol rahe ho, koi dusre naam se kehte
.
.
.
Santa: OK!
POND ke KHOL lelo, POND ke KHOL!


********************* 


Santa: Dettol sabun hai?
Dukandaar: Hai,
Santa: Accha wala?
Dukndar: Ha
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na?
Dukndr: Ha
Santa: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.


********************* 


In exam hall a girl to santa:
Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main likh lungi.

SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire se bola:
“The”


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Santa shaadi mein khana khane gaya
Par samane Salad ka counter dekh kar wapis aa gaya
Baahar aakar bola O banta,
abhi to sabzi hi kat rahi he


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Santa ke bete ka acident ho gaya
Dr: Aapke bete k pair katne padenge..

Santa ne apna sir pakda.
Dr: Kya hua
Santa: Kal hi nalayak ko chapal dilai thi.


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Interviewer: Just imagine, you are in 8th floor,
It caught fire, How will you escape?

Santa: Its very simple,
I will stop my imagination..!!


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Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.


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Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!


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Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."
By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.


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Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.


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Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!


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Santa: Im a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: Whats he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!


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At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.


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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "

A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."


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